collegehumor:

Tortoise Is Ready for Apocalyptic Battle
Our slow, shell-bound brethren shall rise and wheel their way to power.

Finally! I’ve long awaited a Tortoise-ruled America. I can see it now: hexagonal terrapin domes from sea to shining sea, from I-95 to I-80, burning the blacktop in ways no man could ever imagine.Either that or this is the first step to making Pokemon a real thing. 

collegehumor:

Tortoise Is Ready for Apocalyptic Battle

Our slow, shell-bound brethren shall rise and wheel their way to power.

Finally! I’ve long awaited a Tortoise-ruled America. I can see it now: hexagonal terrapin domes from sea to shining sea, from I-95 to I-80, burning the blacktop in ways no man could ever imagine.

Either that or this is the first step to making Pokemon a real thing. 

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    Finally! I’ve long awaited a Tortoise-ruled America. I can see it now: hexagonal terrapin domes from sea to shining sea,...
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